(Definitely NOT mine, Credit to HCF Photography, look them up on FB, I did have the link, but I've copied & pasted a few things since I found it...sorry!)
After a few years of topsy-turvy living and emotional adventure, I came to the time in my life where I really do have to re-evaluate things.
Smoking, drinking, socialising, relationships, life-choices, attitude to all the above....All need a proper hard coat of looking-at.
In this process, I had the idea that one of my "safe" things, (that's just a relative description, so take it that way, as I have written some stuff which I cringe at to read,) was my writing. It's long been a "hobby", and at times a cathartic prop, a way to vent, to rail at the world, more particularly at my treatment of the world, and vice versa.... I have never pushed it "out there" apart from a few random "Open Mic" nights in the old "Stage Door", as was, before it became the "Box Office". And, apart from the abandoned "Writings of a Birdman" blog, now utterly deleted from every angle, as far as I can find, here, in Dungeon Wood.....
Anyway, to cut a long story short, ha, timely, and appropriate. I made a few moves to find out about the local writing scene, and ended up tonight, sitting in on the Holmfirth Writers' Group meeting.
I have to qualify this a little bit as to "why?"
I want to be inspired, yes, people, events, occurrences, random stuff and things around me do that already. But I'm writing more or less in a total vacuum.... I wanted and needed to see how other people handle their addiction to the pen & paper, or keyboard, or whatever...so, I bit the bullet, and ridiculously, for someone who can sing in front of two hundred people or so when necessary, (or at least I used to be able to, it's been a while) I got the jitters.. My heart was actually racing, like border-line panic attack material, for pretty much the entire time, at least until we retired to the pub.
I'm not sure what I expected, but, again, to cut a long story short, we were presented with about half a dozen photos, and told to write something, a short story, a play, poetry, or whatever came into our heads, inspired by one of the pictures..
I chose the top picture, (as I tagged, definitely not one of mine, but one from HCF Photography, who I don't know, and have no connection with, that I'm aware of.... LINK)
Anyway, after about 20 minutes, or so, it was "pens down" and then we went around the table of (I think it was ten) and read aloud what we'd written....
Talk about pressure.....
Dead Mill
Scents,
Clean fighting dust, oily, dark,
A
breeze disturbs cobwebs, abandoned,
Broken
glass crunched underfoot,
Historic
North-light pierces into forgotten corners.
Pulling
on his roll-up, his memory stirs,
The
menders sat here, way-back in his hour,
Sly
laughter echoing though his years,
Silenced
by stiff charge-hand command...
He
peers into time shadows,
Hearing
the clatter and back, clatter and back, of looms,
And
the shouts of his mates,
Trusted
team workers, hard men all.
He
spares a thought for the boys,
Shifting
wool bales and running hard errands,
Between
spaces now silent, labours long lost,
Indescribable
perhaps to anyone now.
It
was a mistake to come back,
The
vacant sad warehouse, broken shuttles on the floor,
Dead
spindles,
A
trip out he'd said, to revisit his youth,
The
old mill, and it's dangerous truth.
Turning
from his story, peering at now,
A
memory ache in his muscles, a long gone vow,
The
machines all sold, along with his soul,
Cheaper
imports, deep sadness, then dole....
Stepping
through the seized still doors,
Back
to today, and positive sunlight,
Briefly
he turns and whispers “farewell”
To
his pals, the weavers, menders and all.
As
he squeezes thought the chained gates,
For
the very last time, he half hears “So long...”
From
the end of the line,
He
knows he's half-dreaming, but can't help but turn back...
Brings
forth “farewell, God keep you”
Then,
makes his way home,
Puts
those memories safe, out of reach,
In
an old biscuit tin. And sits.
..............
It's not one of my best, far from it, but I'm reasonably happy, under the circumstances. I had to get out of my comfort zone. It's made me think though, which was pretty much my entire reason for braving the whole experience, and I think I will go again next week.
Instead of writing "Woe is me" and "Another failed attempt at trying to understand my world..." or "... my seeming inability to maintain a relationship...." (a recurring theme if you can be bothered to go back through it all) I suddenly had to run with something else. I now have to try that again, like taking a photo of something new, from a new angle, or whatever.....
I could write an essay, but I think I nearly did....and it's late. A lot of food for thought, indirectly. The meeting stimulated my own thought processes, which is pretty much all I wanted, so overall it was a success. I hope the others got something, no matter how small out of the experience......